Transitions: Caregivers supporting seniors in making important decisions
By Bea Cowlin
While many seniors age with minimal health issues, others must depend on family members, especially adult children, to be their caregivers. Nationwide, nearly seven million people (family, friends and neighbors) provide care to those 65 and older needing assistance with activities of daily living.
It is important for families to have conversations concerning difficult caregiving issues. One can begin these conversations by asking “what if:” questions: "What if something happened and you needed assistance at home? What if you have an illness requiring more assistance than I can provide?"
During these conversations, caregivers need to recognize that these “what if” situations usually mean a loss for the senior: loss of some independence, loss of possessions including a long-time home, loss of mobility, loss of friends and family. Any loss impacts how your loved one feels. A caregiver needs to first listen and hear those feelings. It is also important for a caregiver to state gently and honestly what they feel they can do and what they cannot do.
Following these conversations, it may be easier to determine what if any services are needed. A first step could be a call to Elder Services to see if their loved one is appropriate for services in the home. It is always a goal to keep seniors in their home for as long as possible. If the senior can no longer remain in his or her home, it is important to explore all the alternatives. Does he or she just need to downsize from a home to an apartment in senior housing? Elder Services can help seniors remain in an apartment for many years.
What if your loved one can longer remain in their home? There are several housing programs available through Elder Services including supportive housing, adult family care, group adult foster care, and the personal care assistance program. You may also visit assisted-living facilities. All of these options provide different levels of care to keep your loved one in the community.
Some caregivers consider having their loved one move into their home. This situation works for some, but certainly not for all. Many issues need to be considered and discussed with all involved to ensure the best decision is made for all who will be affected by this arrangement. What is a caregiver’s relationship with the relative? Is it loving, strained or dysfunctional? What are the caregiver’s other family responsibilities? Spouse and children should be involved in the decision-making process. Will this arrangement affect the caregiver’s job if he or she is working? Does the caregiver have a support system for his or her own needs?
At some point, a caregiver may have to place a loved one in a nursing home. This is a most difficult period of time for the senior, the caregiver and any family members involved. Although often the choice of last resort, there are many reasons that nursing home placement is considered, including safety issues, inability of the caregiver to provide the appropriate care needed, caregiver illness, or the caregiver’s inability to cope with the stress of nonstop caregiving. All are valid reasons for nursing home placement.
Being a caregiver can be both challenging and rewarding. It is important to educate yourself and obtain information that can help your loved one and you. For more information about Elder Services programs, call the agency’s Information and Referral Department at 499-0524 or 1-800-544-5242. For caregiver information and support, call Caregiver Coordinators Bea Cowlin or Pat Morrissey at the same numbers.
Bea Cowlin is one of Elder Services Caregiver Coordinators.
