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-- Programs and Services -- Contact Information How caregivers care for each other
By Bea Cowlin, Elder Services Caregiver Liaison
On a daily basis, many caregivers face the enormous job of caring for their loved one. Caregiving can include anything from visiting weekly to living with their loved one and providing care twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. In addition, many of these caregivers work full or part time, and have their own family responsibilities to cope with. Adding caregiving duties to an already busy schedule can cause difficulties at home and at work, stress, anxiety, depression and caregiver burnout.
There are many ways to cope with being a caregiver. One choice is joining a support or sharing group. A support group can offer a forum to discuss or vent feelings of frustration or anger in a confidential environment. Oftentimes people share stories, both good and bad, and many find comfort in knowing that someone else is experiencing similar feelings. At a recent caregiver group at Elder Services, two women discovered they had very similar experiences in caring for their mothers. One woman offered specific ideas on how she coped with the difficult situation of taking time for herself and her husband.
Another caregiver discussed the difficulties she was having with her mother who was demanding. Another caregiver shared how she handled that situation by being very honest with her mother and explaining that although she loved her very much; she still had to find time for herself to be with her own family. It was also suggested that she ask other family members and neighbors to be with her mother.
Another caregiver identified with both situations and was able to help the others recognize how they get into struggles with the person they care for. She explained to them how she had made a conscious decision not to pursue that struggle. It was noted that sometimes you have to pick your battles and just let others go, because sometimes there is nothing productive that comes from continuing the struggle.
It takes courage to attend a support group, but it can be a very positive experience for all who participate. In addition to sharing difficult times, often humorous stories are shared. Time is spent laughing, sometimes crying, but always caring. Relationships are developed, and sometimes long lasting friendships result.
A support group can also be a source of information and resources. If a caregiver does not have an answer, the facilitator may be able to make suggestions or may be willing to research a particular request and provide the information by the next meeting or by phone if necessary.
There are support/sharing groups throughout Berkshire County. At Elder Services of Berkshire County, Inc., daytime and evening groups are available. On the second Tuesday of the month from 10 to 11:30 a.m. is a male sharing group. On the fourth Tuesday of the month from 10 to 11:30 a.m. is a general caregiving sharing group open to all caregivers. An evening sharing group meets on the second Wednesday of each month from 6:30 to 8 p.m. For information on additional support groups throughout Berkshire County, call Elder Services Caregiver Liaison Bea Cowlin at 413-499-0524 or 1-800-544-5242, extension 113.