Questions about caregivers
By Bea Cowlin LSW, Caregiver Coordinator
Who are Caregivers?
Caregivers are husbands or wives, adult children, in-laws, brothers or sisters, nieces or nephews, aunts or uncles, cousins, friends or neighbors caring for loved ones with dementia, Parkinson’s disease, multiple sclerosis, cancer, diabetes, lung disease, heart disease, frailty, and a host of other diagnoses. According to the Family Caregiver Alliance National Center on Caregiving, 34 million adults provide care for someone age 50 or older. Some 8.9 million of these adults care for someone age 50 or older who has a form of dementia. Another 5.8 to 7 million people provide care to persons age 65 or older who need assistance with everyday activities. If you are a caregiver, you are not alone!
How do you know if you are a caregiver?
A caregiver is someone who provides assistance to a loved one on a regular basis. That assistance could range from checking in by phone with your loved one, to having your loved one live with you.
How does a caregiver know when it is time to ask for help?
Admitting you need help can be difficult for both caregivers and care receivers. It sometimes requires a balancing act and some compromise to meet the needs of both the caregiver and care receiver. Communication becomes very important. Some signs that your loved one may need assistance are: calls from neighbors noting a change in your loved one’s routine, weight loss, personality or behavioral changes, memory loss, minor “fender benders”, unpaid bills or hoarding. If possible, one of the first recommendations is for the caregiver to sit down with a loved one and explain his or her concerns. This is the time to ask the “what if” questions. “What if you are no longer able to drive? What if you come to need some assistance with bathing, or housecleaning? If you had a terminal diagnosis, what would you want to happen? What if I need help in order to provide proper care?” These are difficult conversations to have, and sometimes loved ones don’t wish to talk about these matters. Our suggestion is to keep trying, because it is only through discussion and understanding that successful caregiving can take place.
How does a caregiver care for him/herself?
All caregivers need to remember that it is as important to care for yourself as it is to care for your loved one. It’s okay to say “I need a break, or “I cannot do this job alone.” The following suggestions may help:
• Most Important: communicate with your loved one what you can and cannot do. These ongoing discussions lead to successful caregiving experiences for both the caregiver and care receiver.
• Get help when you need it. Ask for assistance from family, friends, or other community resources.
• Access the Family Caregiver Support Program at Elder Services for caregiver support and information.
• Call Elder Services’ Information & Referral (I & R) Department (499-0524 or 1-800-544-5242) to get an assessment for services.
• Consider day programs such as Adult Day Health or Social Day Care. Elder Services’ I & R Department has information about these programs.
• Join a caregiver support group.
• Take respite (time away) on a regular basis.
• Research the illness that your loved one has. This knowledge can bring understanding and compassion to the caregiving role.
For further information on caregiving, call Elder Services Caregiver Coordinators Pat Morrissey or Bea Cowlin at 499-0524 or 1-800-544-5242.
