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Coping with holiday stress
By Bea Cowlin
The holidays can be a stressful and difficult time for many reasons including the responsibilities of caregiving. Caregivers coping with a family member’s serious illness may face difficult decisions about keeping up with yearly family traditions. It’s okay for you as caregiver to state what you think you can or cannot do.
- Prioritize! Decide, with some input from family and the person you are caring for, which traditions you wish to keep.
- Ask for help! Enlist other relatives to assist with cooking. If there are children in the family, ask them to help. Explain why help is needed. If possible, involve the person you are caring for in the planning of holiday activities. If there are fewer decorations or holiday goodies, that’s okay.
Some additional holiday tips:
- When family and friends ask for gift suggestions, keep in mind that “help” is the best gift, such as visiting or taking your family member out for two to three hours every week or every other week.
- Keep family gatherings small. Too many people may be too much for you as a caregiver, and overwhelming to the person you are caring for.
- Plan a “potluck” meal so you are not responsible for all the cooking.
- Prepare yourself. Family members who have not visited in awhile may insist that everyone looks fine, and may downplay your caregiving responsibilities.
- Television shows and magazine articles may portray unrealistic family gatherings where everyone is perfectly happy, triggering feelings of sadness and other emotions.
- Take care of yourself! Try to find some quiet time for yourself each day, even if it’s only 10 minutes.
- Most important, keep your sense of humor and remember that you are not alone.
For further support, contact Elder Services’ Caregiver Liaison Bea Cowlin at 499-0524, 1-800-544-5242, or caregiver@esbci.org.
Bea Cowlin is Elder Services Caregiver Liaison, and she provides information for caregivers as well as facilitating caregiver support groups.