Happy Father’s Day
By Rae A. Eastman
The fact that Father’s Day is a low-key event in Bill Marsh’s home suggests that every day is Father’s Day in the Marsh home. When asked what special doings there might be on Father’s Day, Marsh scratches his head and says, “We make more out of Mother’s Day — she deserves the special recognition much more than I do.”
Marsh began work at Elder Services as a Congregate Housing Coordinator. He is now a Protective Case Worker and “except for one year in the Air Force Reserve,” has been at Elder Services for almost 11 years. He finds it a “family-friendly” place to work.
Father’s Day does, however, give him pause for reflection about the influence of his own father on his choices in life. James Marsh, who spent much of his life in the Navy, had no interest (”none whatsoever”) in the sports – such as basketball or baseball – that his son enjoyed. Nevertheless, his father took an active part in them, not only supporting his son’s involvement, but was active in coaching as well. In return, he insisted that his son Bill, who didn’t like to try new things, take on new challenges such as bowling (which he now loves) and swimming, which he still shies away from, though two of his daughters are on a swim team. When he pauses to think about it, Bill realizes that his own military service (four years in the Air Force and four in the Air Force Reserve) may well have been following an example set by his father. Later his father went into civil service, and Bill suspects that may have unconsciously inspired him to select social service as a career.
Now a father of four, Marsh finds himself totally involved in school and family life. His daughter Jessica, aged 10, describes him as always ready to listen to their concerns: “If we’re watching TV, we start talking and stuff . . . “
Marsh describes with pride a parent-teacher conference in which Abby’s teacher could not stop talking about her caring for the youngest boy in the class who needed help - making sure he kept up with the class: “Let’s get your snowsuit on.” and “Where are your things for our art class?” This revelation came as a complete surprise to her parents, as Abby had never spoken at home about her little friend. Abby is six years old. Heather, now 13, donates a portion of her baby-sitting money to one charity after another – whatever catches her fancy. Could there be signs here that their social worker father’s altruistic values are trickling down to these two?
Their mom, Anna, a teacher by profession, has developed an at-home licensed, pre-school that she runs as a day care specialist. This means that their fourth child, Will, now a year old and described by his father as “a little hurricane,” has a full-time at-home mom.
Marsh’s hobby, making furniture, has recently developed into a small time business. “It just grew,” he says. “One person would say, ‘could you make me a cabinet just this size?’ or ‘how about a coffee table about three by . . .’.” He now has a showroom for his work and spends two hours there at the end of each workday.
“I don’t think being a father has affected my work at Elder Services, particularly. Rather, I think, it’s the other way around. As I learn how to deal with all the concerns of the elderly, I better understand how to deal with my parents’ lives as well as prepare for my own and my family’s future. In other words, I may be a better father and a better son as a result of my experience working with elders.”
In the present — specifically on June 17 — this father of four will be given a special breakfast by his children. Marsh is looking forward to Heather’s “made from scratch” pancakes along with bacon, jam, toast, and his favorite Lipton tea. Heather adds that “later in the day she and her sisters — with a little help from Will — expect to prepare this year’s version of a ‘shirt cake,’ complete with a collar, a tie, buttons, and everything.”
While Bill Marsh may view Father’s Day as a low-key event, this is indeed shaping up to be a very special Father’s Day.
Rae Eastman is a volunteer with Berkshire Talking Chronicle, and the recently retired Director of the Sheffield Council on Aging.
