Elder independence: There's no place like home
By Rae A. Eastman
As I followed Meals on Wheels driver Wes Peterson into the driveway of Mary Palfini’s farmhouse in southern Berkshire County, I looked around at the fields that seemed endless. Her house is nestled in this beautiful country landscape with perhaps one or two houses down the road. Palfini, a petite, trim widow, now nearly 88, met us at the door with a warm smile.
I asked about farming life: "Charlie took over the farm from his father a year after we were married. We shared the land with about 30 or 35 cows for almost 40 years. It’s a complicated business raising cows, and you do get attached to them. The day they were to leave — when Charlie couldn’t farm anymore —they lay down in the road as if they knew. We had to fight to get each one on the truck.” She was silent a moment. “I miss them still.”
Palfini has an occasional tenant in her upstairs apartment, but otherwise has few visitors aside from her son, who lives nearby.
“I’m a homebody,” she confesses with a laugh. “No doubt about it. My friends say ‘we would have invited you to join us, but we knew you wouldn’t come.’ People are so good! It seems they stand in line to give you a ride, if you need one.”
Smiling Palfini adds, “No, I couldn’t live anywhere else. Just looking out at those fields and trees is all the diversion I need. They change so each season. Guess I’m just a nature lover.” Married for 53 years, the Palfinis lived in this, Charlie’s father’s house, for all but the first year of their marriage. For the last few years, her husband suffered from Alzheimer’s disease. She described the condition as “the worst disease anyone can get.” He died in 1999.
Palfini has endured a broken knee, a dislocated shoulder, and has a heart condition as well as glaucoma. She has had numerous falls. “I dread being in a nursing home. I’m so afraid that if I fall again – I’m out of here.”
Meanwhile, she looks forward each weekday to her visit from the Meals on Wheels driver, sometimes the only person she sees for days on end. “Where does Elder Services get such nice people? They seem like part of the family as if they would do anything for you if you asked them.”
One day, she recalled that Wes Peterson (one of the volunteer Meals on Wheels drivers who regularly cover the most southern Berkshire County route based out of the Sheffield Council on Aging) noticed the door was sticking. “I’ve got just the thing to fix that,” he said. Another time, she happened to mention that the minute hand of a favorite wall clock had come off. “Wes whipped out his pen knife, re-attached the hand, and it has run perfectly ever since.” And then there’s driver Marie Kirchner who cautions Palfini in the winter, “Don’t you go out! It’s cold. It’s slippery.”
Palfini is one of the 850 seniors in the Berkshires who receive Meals on Wheels each weekday, and Frank Clarke are three of the 15 volunteer drivers who serve the southern Berkshire area. Clearly, Elder Services Meals on Wheels program with its dedicated staff and volunteers is committed to providing more than a hot, delicious, nutritious mid-day meal. How else would Mary Palfini be able to live on her own, staying so contentedly in her beloved ancestral farmhouse?
Rae Eastman is currently a volunteer with Berkshire Talking Chronicle. She is the retired Sheffield Council on Aging Director.
Editor's Note: This past year, Elder Services’ Lanesboro kitchen prepared almost 260,000 meals for Berkshire seniors. Over 208,000 meals were delivered to the homes of Berkshire seniors via 34 routes and the remaining 51,000 were served at 14 lunch sites, throughout the county. Our Meals on Wheels drivers traveled over 224,000 miles last year. Since 1975 over 2.75 million meals have been provided to seniors in our community. Those interested in delivering meals for the Meals on Wheels Program should contact the Nutrition Services Department of Elder Services at 499-0524 or (800) 544-5242.
